As a one less car advocate and former marching band member (color guard, bass drum, and trumpet...though not all at the same time), I’m pretty tickled by the prospect of the Honk! Festival Parade leading to Oktoberfest in Harvard Square this Sunday, October 11 (12 – 6 pm; rain date October 12). After you “reclaim the streets for horns, bikes, and feet” enjoy the Square in full on party mode; Oktoberfest will be replete with entertainment, food, and vendors.
Here’s a cool and unusual weekend pick: tomorrow (Aug 2) celebrate the positive messages of old school hip hop at the Peace 2008 Hip Hop Festival at City Hall Plaza in Boston. This free event runs from 4-8 pm and will feature performances by legendary hip hop group EPMD, Chubb Rock, and Das EFX. Local acts include Acrobatik, Static Noyze, Status Quo, Esoteric, and more.
Welcome to the 5th installment of Boston Mamas Rock! – where we’re giving a voice to fabulous local mamas, whether they be entrepreneurs, avid volunteers, stay at home moms, moms who have closet talents, authors, media professionals, politicians, professors, etc. Read on for today’s interview with Heather Kempskie, editor of P&K magazine and first time book author. Then go ahead and nominate yourself or a friend!
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Heather Kempskie, Editor, P&K magazine & book author
Christine: Tell us a little bit about your background Heather. My understanding is that you started off right after college in journalism, then left for the world of PR, and now you’re back to journalism. What inspired the changes from journalism to PR and back?
Heather: I landed my first real-life reporting job straight out of college covering Holliston for The TAB Newspapers. I got my feet wet covering small town government but soon desired a corporate PR job and all the perks that came with it (like a decent salary!). I quickly learned that I was most happy when I was promoting a service I truly believed in and really enjoyed my roles as a spokesperson for the American Red Cross as well as North Shore Medical Center in Salem. Bottom line, I was always jealous of the reporters I worked with. I wanted to be the one writing the stories, not pitching them. I was lucky to be hired as the editor of P&K. Nearly 13 years after beginning my career, I’m back in the same newspaper office I started in (but with a way cooler title!)
Christine: Editorships often times can be strictly managerial but you do a lot of writing at P&K (and elsewhere, which we’ll get to in a minute). Do you have any tips on how you effectively compartmentalize your different roles?
Heather: Writing is my passion. You couldn’t keep me away from it if you tried. I also love meeting new people and conveying their story, challenges and triumphs through the printed word. It helps me stay connected to the communities and people I serve. As editor, I certainly “manage” the process by assigning stories and editing copy but I also work closely with my freelancers – we talk about concepts, explore the angles and hopefully arrive with an end product that makes our readers feel empowered and inspired. To me the two roles of editor and writer blend naturally.
Christine: And do you feel like your parenting experience has informed the way you manage your staff at P&K? What are your favorite and least favorite parts of the job?
Heather: Becoming a parent prepares you for just about anything in life. I thought I could multi-task before but now I’ve entered turbo-mode. I guess the most important skill is the ability to work well with other parents – my “staff” is actually comprised of freelancers – moms and dads who have a passion for parenting topics and a background in communications. There is a profound (yet unspoken) understanding of our daily demands. I laugh whenever any one of them call and actually apologize because their child is making noise in the background. If I don’t get that, nobody will!
My favorite part? I’m not lying when I say I love just about everything! I get the biggest thrill when I’m on deadline and we start putting together the pages of the publication. It’s incredible to see the combined work of freelancers, myself, the design and art departments come together in a product that will be available to hundreds of families throughout greater Boston.
Least favorite? Man, that’s a tough one. I’d say that some mornings are tougher than others when it comes to heading to work for the day and saying goodbye to my children. I’m lucky, though, because my job comes with a lot of flexibility. The other night I attended the opening reception for the BIG BUGS event at Garden in the Woods in Framingham, and like most events relevant to P&K, it was for the whole family. I was working but I got to enjoy the night with my kids too!
Christine: You have two adorable kids -- where were you at professionally when your children arrived? I’m always interested in hearing how people decide on length of maternity leave, balancing child care when returning to work, etc. Can you tell us about your working mom journey?
Heather: When my son was born five years ago, I had almost every intention of returning to work but after a difficulty recovery - including surgery - I decided to stay at home with my son and loved every minute of it. I took on some freelancing work including writing for P&K magazine. Two years later, my daughter joined the family. I was eager to continue freelancing but a few of the jobs I had fell through. I remember sitting in our basement when a message arrived in my inbox. The editor of P&K was leaving. I applied for the job that day! I wasn’t quite ready to be back in an office 40 hours a week so I thankfully was able to negotiate flexible hours. I always tell other moms re-entering the workforce to be creative and resourceful. Women have an innate ability to make schedules work. I’m hoping that we continue to see more employers supporting working moms to find that work/life balance.
Christine: You have an identical twin with whom you co-authored a new book, The Siblings' Busy Book. First, congrats on publishing your first book! How was it working with your sister on this project?
Heather: Lisa and I have always had an uncanny ability to balance each other off. Where she is relaxed, I’m a bit neurotic. Where she is creative, I’m practical. Once we had the idea for this book, we easily took on the tasks that suited our different skills and passions. Lisa, who has a Masters in Creative Education, began writing activities and I started putting together our book proposal and marketing plan. We had plenty of late night sessions editing each activity. We laughed a lot. Never fought. And always recognized how fortunate we were that some publisher had given us a shot at a lifelong dream.
Christine: I’m really impressed by the way your book takes each of 200 activity ideas and includes variations for baby, toddler, preschooler, and school age kids to illustrate how siblings can engage in the same themed activities in different ways. This must have been a huge amount of work! How long did it take for you and your sister to put these ideas to paper? And to your knowledge, is this the first book of its kind on the market?
Heather: From concept to publication, it was a three-year journey. We took advantage of naptimes and weekends when our husbands were around to watch the kids. Lisa and I live next door to each other so we saved time on travel! Originally our idea was to create an activity book for babies and toddler siblings. Meadowbrook Press asked us to expand it to include preschoolers and school-age children. We relied on Lisa’s experience as a teacher, our fellow parents and even our own kids for ideas. We also held several sibling workshops with local parents and their children so that we could test our activities. The activities in the book are all kid-approved! We’ve always joked that we really wrote 600 activities because we had to write instructions for four differentage groups for each activity! And yes, we’re proud of the fact that this is the first book of its kind.
L to R: Lisa, Jake (in lap), Noah, Brooke, Heather & Kyle (in lap)
Christine: You have dedicated enormous effort to the topic of siblings, are a parent of two kids two years apart, and are an identical twin. I’m curious about where you stand on the having kids close vs. having them far apart debate.
Heather: Listen, I’m a firm believer in realizing that in many cases you don’t get a say of how far your children will be born apart. But if we could all plan it to our liking, I would say that little of sibling relationships has to do with how close or far apart in age they are. It depends on your children’s personalities and your parenting style. My favorite book is Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. In it, they conclude that parents can set the stage for sibling harmony simply on how they react to sibling behavior and squabbles. In the first 10 pages, they give practical tips you can apply right away in your own family. As close as Lisa and I are, we definitely went through stages of, well let’s say, discord. It’s natural. Siblings are the longest relationship anyone of us will ever have. Longer than our parents and longer than our spouse. We learn how to compromise, share, negotiate and express ourselves. Our book is based on the concept that siblings who play together and create happy memories build bonds that last a lifetime.
Christine: I understand that some of your favorite pastimes are reading and hiking. What’s your favorite book pick this summer, and do you have any favorite family-friendly local hiking spots to recommend?
Heather: During a recent vacation to the Cape, I picked up a book from the resort library Where Are You Now? by Mary Higgins Clark. It’s an interesting family mystery that doesn’t require too much thought. In my opinion, it’s the perfect summer pick.
My husband I love being outdoors. Before kids, you’d find us hiking or biking every weekend. The kids have warmed up to this ritual but last year we found the ticket to get the kids excited about the experience. Letterboxing! It’s a popular family activity where participants search for hidden stamps and ink pads contained in small weatherproof plastic boxes within public places such as a park or hiking trail. You go to a Web site like www.letterboxing.org to get clues on where to search for Letterboxes in your area (there are more than 30,000 of these hidden nationwide). You can track which ones you’ve found and some even contain small prizes. My kids are more than motivated if there’s a prize at the end of the hike.
Christine: It’s also my understanding that you appeared in a McDonald’s commercial when you were a kid. How did that come about? Did they give you free Happy Meals after the shoot?
Heather: My dad worked on the corporate side of McDonald’s when we were kids. We were very cool kids because of that. When we were younger, he’d bring home buckets of happy meal toys. When we were in college, we’d always have tons of gift cards from there and treat our college buddies to a Big Mac or whatever. I remember we got a crisp dollar bill for our efforts but unfortunately, no movie deal offers!
Christine: And finally, what’s your favorite thing about being a Boston mama?
Heather: Oh, my gosh, what is there not to love? We have the best of all possible worlds. A gorgeous city full of classic family excursions such as the Swan Boats or the Children’s Museum plus some more current hip stuff like Baby Loves Disco (swank Boston night clubs opening during the day for toddlers to dance and parents to socialize) and the Institute of Contemporary Art. Then we’ve got the greater Boston area with each town brimming full of their own parks, playgrounds and kid-friendly seasonal activities. I love bringing my kids to the same places I enjoyed with my family, such as Capron Park Zoo or the Aquarium. As far as BostonMamas.com – it’s hip and fun and reminds us women that we’re always cool at heart! Thanks for all you do!
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For more from Heather & Lisa, visit their site.
Know a fabulous local mama? Nominate yourself or someone else to be featured!
I feel blessed to know many artistic souls, and last week I had the fabulous opportunity to work with Kristin Chalmers on professional headshots. Kristin is a creative tour de force via her photography business, her role as the host, coordinator, and producer of Baby Loves Disco Boston, and, given her passion for helping new moms, I recently convinced her that she has time to write for this site (debut forthcoming). But let me get back to her photography prowess, because she rocked.
As a mother of two, these days Kristin is particularly attuned to photographing children and families; everything from pregnancy photos to newborns to high school portraits that actually look cool. She also shoots weddings, and for business or other personal needs (such as the headshots I needed), and in the past has shot everything from rappers to restaurants.
I’m typically completely comfortable in front of a camera, but I have to admit that given the fact that lately I’ve been feeling rather tired in face and body, I started to fret a little as I readied myself for the shoot. I stared at my skin (regretting every single minute I used to suntan in high school and college), and wondered whether I should have attempted a home teeth-whitening kit the night before.
But luckily, Kristin’s demeanor and talent quickly helped me forget those concerns. She’s fun, lighthearted yet professional, never condescending, and - particularly good for families - she shoots up a storm while working quickly, chatting to keep the subject(s) engaged and at ease between shots, and offering positioning corrections in a relaxed way. She also stopped periodically to show me shots on her camera, as well as edits to improve various shots. The results were so fabulous and the shoot so fun, I could have had her snap away all day.
We shot in a variety of ways - out at a park, in a café, with and without glasses, and while I haven’t seen the whole series, I’m already having trouble deciding between the preliminary favorites she has sent. But truly, it’s an embarrassment of riches to have to decide between shots where she has transformed a tired mama into one who looks alternately hot, young, hip, stylish, fully rested, etc.
Kristin shoots on location digitally (although she’ll shoot with film for traditionalists) – and she uses a local photography lab so it’s easy to get prints without dealing with exorbitant shipping costs. Definitely contact Kristin the next time you or your family want a photo pro who will put you at ease and make you look fabulous.
If you’re ready to purge, replace, or upgrade your stroller to accommodate more than one kiddo, visit Magic Beans this Thursday (July 24) between 10am to 8pm for The Great Stroller Exchange. Simply bring in your gently used stroller – which will be donated to a family in need via Cradles to Crayons – and you’ll receive 10% off a new stroller from Magic Beans.
The event is running at all three Magic Beans locations (Brookline, Hingham, Wellesley) and drop off and purchase must occur on the 24th. Click here for further details about the event, including stroller condition requirements.
We love local mamapreneurs, and thus were thrilled to receive this tip from Aimee of Arlington: “I just checked out the new Twinkle Star baby boutique in Ball Square, Somerville. It’s a cute shop and great play space for kids. I also met with Salina of Diaper Lab (she rents space at Twinkle Star) for cloth diaper ideas for my new little guy. She has a supply and sample of every cloth diaper available - what a great resource!”
Click here for a coupon for $5 off purchases of $75+ at Twinkle Star Boutique.
Twinkle Star Boutique & Diaper Lab, 703 Broadway, Somerville; Tel: 617-776-2340
The days are longer; the bedtimes are later. And come tomorrow, you and the kids can wile away the summer hours in green fashion at ArtBeat 08 in Davis Square. Beginning tomorrow at 6pm, and running through Saturday, this green festival will feature live performances, eco-conscious exhibits, craft vendors, food, and art/green activities.
Welcome to the 4th installment of Boston Mamas Rock! – where we’re giving a voice to fabulous local mamas, whether they be entrepreneurs, avid volunteers, stay at home moms, moms who have closet talents, authors, media professionals, politicians, professors, etc. Read on for today’s interview with Jennifer Crowley, the inspirational mother behind Cian’s Cause, which she founded shortly after losing her son Cian to Neuroblastoma. Then consider nominating yourself or a friend.
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Jennifer Crowley, Founder, Cian’s Cause
Christine: Jennifer, before we get started, please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your son Cian. And thank you for taking the time to share your story with our readers.
Jennifer: You are quite welcome – and thank you for the opportunity to talk about Cian and the disease that took him from us.
Christine: Your son was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma when he was only 5 months old. Can you describe this form of cancer – its origin and prognosis - in a nutshell?
Jennifer: Neuroblastoma is the most common solid tumor cancer in infants and children. The disease typically originates in the abdomen, either in the adrenal glands (located just above the kidney in back of the upper abdomen) or around the spinal cord. There are approximately 650 cases of Neuroblastoma diagnosed in the United States each year, with two-years being the average age of diagnosis. The causes of Neuroblastoma are not completely known; however, less than two percent of all cases are thought to be hereditary.
Neuroblastoma is commonly fatal; the long-term survival rate for children with high-risk Neuroblastoma, which accounts for most cases, is less than 40 percent.
Christine: Reading the story of your son’s symptoms (black eye, vomiting, lethargy) cropping up out of nowhere gave me chills. As you received various misdiagnoses (ear infection, hand, foot, and mouth disease) what was going through your mind as possible alternative explanations? And how on earth did you stay calm in the face of these mysterious symptoms?
Jennifer: Cian was our first-born and his first five months of life were incredibly healthy ones. Until the week he fell ill, he had been a happy, thriving baby. Given that so many different providers diagnosed him with benign conditions, it never crossed our mind to be overly anxious. We were first time parents - we were naïve. We trusted the medical professionals we were seeking help from and expected whatever was wrong with our baby would be resolved. You tell yourself, we live in Boston and have access to the best minds that medicine has to offer – you don’t really believe that a shiny new baby could have a condition that is essentially terminal. We had plane tickets to Ireland to spend time with my husband’s family the week Cian got sick – I knew we’d have to postpone, but I never thought for a minute we wouldn’t be going. Ignorance is bliss…
Christine: When you finally were sent to Children’s Hospital in Boston for Cian’s neurosurgery, unbeknownst to you, the Department of Social Services was en route to meet you to investigate child abuse concerns. I can only imagine the anger and hurt you must have experienced; how did you cope with and recover from these allegations?
Jennifer: I honestly have not recovered from the allegation – veiled as it was. To sit in an ambulance (we were being transported from a community hospital to Children’s – the docs at the community hospital levied the abuse suspicion) in rush hour traffic thinking, could this be? Had I hired someone [our nanny] who was responsible for potential brain damage in my first and only child? Words can’t describe what that felt like. We were catatonic. And then to get to Children’s and not exactly be welcomed with open arms – to be questioned by a social worker – to sit in near silence for hours on end while asking myself – will Cian be taken away from us? Will the police be called? When I reflect over the whole experience – even with Cian dying – the real trauma lies in the diagnosis process. We have since received apologies from the providers involved in the initial misdiagnosis and understand Cian’s case was subsequently presented to all ER docs at Children’s to help educate about the disease – those actions help to some degree – but a lot of harm was done that day, particularly in the community hospital. To illustrate - at Cian’s autopsy meeting, I actually asked if there were signs of abuse. It was still in my head. We now have another son who is almost one and I have not been able to send him to daycare. Suffice it to say, I have a lot more healing to do and certainly feel very untrusting of doctors these days, with the exception of our new pediatrician who is simply wonderful and exceptionally compassionate.
Christine: And similarly, how have you coped with/recovered from the fact that 6 clinicians didn’t catch Cian’s mysterious “raccoon eye” symptom [shown in the fading stages in photo above] - a hallmark sign of Neuroblastoma?
Jennifer: Not exactly over that either… which is why I wanted to found a group to spread awareness. I think back to my first pregnancy, with Cian, and how I poured over every book and magazine available to me. I read articles on SIDS, shaken baby syndrome, first aid, etc… and think if I had only read one thing about raccoon eye, saw a picture of it… I would like to think I would have recalled the article and urged the doctors to rule out the disease or take a closer look at his eye, which no one seemed very interested in until a misinterpretation of a head CT scan (tumor as trauma) and chest x-ray (bone marrow disease as healing fractures) led doctors down one path, even though his irregular blood test results and enlarged liver were not explainable under the abuse diagnosis.
So many times we were told how doctors are trained that, “when you hear hoof beats, think horses not zebras.” Talk about cold comfort. I realize that a pediatrician may go his or her entire clinical life and not see one single case of Neuroblastoma, but how a clinician can mistake a child who is ICU-bound as one that has a mere ear infection is simply beyond me. What I have come to learn is that the eyes are like a window to the brain – so many brain-related ailments in children manifest themselves through the eyes – discoloration, drooping, crossing, and so on.
Christine: You created Cian’s Cause to raise awareness about the signs and symptoms of Neuroblastoma. When did you start the organization? What are the primary ways people can help this organization? And how do you raise awareness both at the local and professional levels?
Jennifer: I created Cian’s Cause only months after losing Cian. I had all this anger and energy and no other way to channel it. I felt as if I lost my standing, my identity, as a mother. I have a background in healthcare and PR so it felt natural to put my skills to good use and try to raise awareness amongst new parents that the disease is out there and what the symptoms are. Basically I don’t want anyone else to go through what we did – which, once I shared it with other Neuroblastoma families, I learned wasn’t all that unusual.
The primary way people can support Cian’s Cause are to tell Cian’s story to new parents, to doctors - to educate about the disease. I also urge new moms not to be afraid to ask family doctors or pediatricians what they know about it or what their experience is with rarer childhood afflictions. At this point I haven’t started the professional outreach to doctors yet, but do intend to with a little funding.
Christine: We first learned about you from one of your friends, whose family has raised money in honor of your son via participating in Alex's Lemonade Stand Lemonade Days. Is Cian’s Cause connected to Alex's Lemonade Stand (an organization started by a girl who suffered from Neuroblastoma) in a formal way?
Jennifer: No, the two groups are not formally connected, though in sort of a spiritual sense, I do feel connected to Alex’s parents given that she also died from Neuroblastoma. They have raised millions for pediatric cancer research – it’s really a tremendous organization. For people who want to support research efforts aimed at kids with cancer – which are drastically under-funded by the government and largely ignored by drug companies given the relatively small market – Alex’s is a great group since they are 100 percent focused on childhood cancers, even those beyond Neuroblastoma. Groups like the American Cancer Society and other well-known (and local) cancer charities tend to direct only miniscule amounts of funding towards pediatric cancer – their defense is that the learnings from adult cancer research will impact new treatments for childhood forms – and this is simply not true given the vast differences in the genesis’ of cancers depending on age and cell biology.
Christine: Your friend/nominator said that just after your son died, you said that having Cian was the best thing that ever happened to you and your husband. And that you wanted Cian's friends to remember that life is meant to be lived. Your strength is so admirable. How do you maintain such a positive perspective? And how do you shore yourself up on the inevitable hard days?
Jennifer: A lot of 2007 seems like a dream. It’s hard to describe how a bereaved parent picks him or herself up everyday and functions as part of society. I think for my husband and myself, there was a lot of denial involved, some therapy, and the support of friends. Whatever positive energy I put forth, it’s all from Cian. He’s always with me. I spent every single day of his life with him – he was a very special child and I can’t help but think he was ours for a reason. I had never spent time in a children’s hospital before his diagnosis and then we basically moved in to one of the most renowned ones for several weeks. Talk about a ridiculously eye-opening experience. I never once asked myself, ‘why me’ or ‘why him’ because in that environment, you are surrounded by families facing struggles. The pain you see on faces in the cafeteria or in the elevator – the afflictions you see that you never knew existed – it really knocks you.
I have to say, a large part of our healing came from the fact that we were lucky enough to get pregnant again in early 2008 and welcomed another son, Padraig [shown above], in September 2007. He is how we get through the hard days. There are no words to describe how blessed we are to have him. When I think of him turning one in September, it feels like a miracle. He gave us the ability to feel joy again. He gave us our identity back.
Christine: Incredibly stressful events such as these typically strain other relationships. How do you and your husband John stay connected and positive about life after Cian?
Jennifer: The experience of Cian’s diagnosis, the demands of his treatment, and his subsequent death really bonded John and I. We experienced so many private moments with Cian – then when he was gone, it really was just the two of us. Not to make light of losing a child, but once the funeral is over, even your closest friends and loved ones often have no clue what to say to you (and I know, there isn’t exactly a manual written on the topic) so a lot of the time we just felt like, well, it’s really, really just the two of us now. Once I got pregnant, it gave us something else to focus on – I feel like the pregnancy really was a gift from above. And as I mentioned earlier, having another little boy to love and learn from is what keeps us positive and (mostly) functioning.
Christine: March and October (the months when your son was born, then succumbed to Neuroblastoma) must be so difficult – have you found ways to commemorate Cian’s life at these times that bring some sort of peace?
Jennifer: We actually haven’t found ways to commemorate his life – not just yet anyways. One of the really hard things about losing a baby is that there is so much unknown – we don’t know what his favorite game was or his favorite animal – so there is very little for us to draw on to celebrate him. I think we just aim to celebrate him everyday. In time Padraig will become a part of how we commemorate Cian’s life – singing happy birthday to him, sending him balloons – it is very important to us that Padraig ‘know’ his older brother. I can say the spring air – the way it feels and smells – will always remind me of Cian, what it was like to have him at home as a newborn. And the fall, well, it’s a tough time – with the leaves turning, the sun setting earlier – anyways, it’s just very symbolic of our loss.
Christine: Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. Is there anything further you would like our readers to know about Neuroblastoma or Cian’s Cause?
Jennifer: Nothing comes to mind. But I’d like to say that if anyone, after reading this piece or visiting our website, has any feedback or thoughts on channels to promote the group or Neuroblastoma awareness, I’m all ears!
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Know an inspiring local mama? Nominate yourself or someone else to be featured.
Kids move fast, so if you want to catch precious fleeting moments (and perhaps even be in a photo for once), call a pro equipped with both an eye for composition and super fast shutter speed. Lucky for local mamas, today Mariah M Photography contributes to our online birthday party with an on-location portrait session + $100 print credit (value = $300!). This complimentary session can take place at your home or other favorite spot, provided it’s within a 20-mile radius of Newburyport (otherwise Mariah serves New England & beyond). Simply check out the rules after the jump and leave a comment on this giveaway to enter to win.
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THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winner Nicola!
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THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winner Nicola!
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Rules: