Today, Paige shares her raves for MiniLuxe:

“Ever since I moved back to Boston from New York, I have searched for a fabulous nail salon. Not a shmancy spa. Not a hair salon that has a great manicurist on staff. An honest-to-goodness nail shop -- the kind you find every three blocks in Manhattan, where you can walk in when the mood strikes and be guaranteed a fabulously groomed set of ten in 30 minutes for less than $20. But with no luck to date, I have had to deal with my gnarly nails and cuticles, except for the occasional weak moment when I’m willing to fork over $40 for a mani at the local spa.
Two weeks ago, I was introduced to MiniLuxe in Lexington by my mama friend Marianne. Four of us girls were looking for a way to celebrate the holidays together and Marianne booked us mani/pedis at this “nail and beauty lounge” -- the only place she could find that would take all of us at the same time. Oh, and it was a Sunday. At 10 a.m.

When I arrived, I knew it was going to be a good experience. MiniLuxe was clean (all tools are sterilized in an autoclave after each use, and files and buffers go home with you), spacious, and pretty, with a wall of OPI and Essie nail colors organized by color and perfectly labeled (for anyone who has searched for a color by turning over every bottle on the shelf, you know how fabulous this is).

Jump to an hour and fifteen minutes later after my nails (all twenty of ‘em) had been scrubbed, filed, buffed, moisturized, massaged, and lacquered for the grand price of $53, and I was sold. It got even better when seven days later (rather than the usual two), my manicure was just starting to show signs of needing a re-polish.

Between the salon’s commitment to hygiene, easy online booking, frequent service card (buy ten, get one free), amazing mom-friendly hours (open seven days a week, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. most days), and my awesome nail technician Rita, I’ll be visiting MiniLuxe regularly in 2010. Goodbye gnarly nails, hello mini-priced bliss.”

MiniLuxe, 1718 Massachusetts Avenue, Lexington; 339-970-2322. Locations also in Newton Centre (792 Beacon Street) and Back Bay (296 Newbury Street).

Kids grow fast and seasonal gear subsequently has a short window of use, so I was thrilled to find these Bladerunner adjustable ice skates (also available in blue) for Laurel. Sturdy and (according to Laurel) comfortable, the skates are available in three size brackets, each adjustable across four sizes, which means we’ll get at least two, maybe even three, seasons out of them. Super fabulous.
And once you're properly outfitted, check out these leads for Boston area skating rinks.

Today, Tracy shares tips to help soothe sensitive souls:

When our second son was born, he wailed from the moment I brought him up to my chest. He wailed through his first bath, an experience his older brother had loved. He wailed for the first three months we put him in his car seat. Snow suit? Wailed. Hiring a babysitter? Cue the wailing. At nearly every turn, tearfulness and sobbing were part and parcel of his experience. I realized very early that I had an emotionally sensitive kid on my hands.
In my private practice, I often talk to my clients about the two main tasks in managing an emotional experience. One has to be able to tolerate a certain amount of emotion (usually negative); this involves the ability to identify and understand the emotion as well as link it with relevant experience(s). One also has to be able to regulate the emotion; this is the ability to modulate or control the intensity and timing of our reaction, as well as whether or not we express is outwardly or hold it in. I think of these processes as sliders on a music producer’s mixing board. They can move independently of each other, yet are very much related. For example, if someone has high tolerance and high regulation of emotion, others are not likely to know much about their emotional experience. They can take a lot and are likely able to control the expression of this emotion so well that it seems hardly to make a blip on their radar. One can also have high tolerance and low regulation, or vice versa.

If, however, someone has both low tolerance and low regulation of their emotional state, you are likely to know every single thing that bothers them no matter how seemingly trivial it is. This is our son. It takes very little to send him into a flurry of tears, and they are often loud. His reactions can often seem so out of proportion to what is going on that it’s frustrating to try and help him through it. This year has been particularly hard on him. We’ve realized that in addition to being emotionally sensitive, he is also likely easily overstimluated by sensory stimuli that others are able to tolerate with a minimum of distress. Loud noises (he wears industrial hearing protection when we vacuum), bulky or wrinkly clothing, and too many people are too much for him. Add to this his tendency to worry excessively about what will happen if he misses me during the day, and you’ve got a recipe for leg-clinging, tear-filled, angst-ridden transitions, drop-offs, and new classes.

I believe that the best way to help my son is to empower him with strategies that work. He needs to learn ways that he can calm himself and feel competent in his ability to do this, so that he is not overwhelmed by every single thing that is new or loud. It is heart-wrenching to watch him struggle, but he is also my best example of courage in the face of fear. Here is what I have done/said/used to help him start on the path of self-soothing.

Find out his perception of events. My biggest lesson in this experience has been that what I think is going on and what he is taking from situations can be two vastly different things. It does not matter if his take is factually correct or not. It is what it is.

Ask what he thinks will help. I was shocked and amazed that my son came up with a rewards strategy for encouraging him to stick with his martial arts classes. He really, really wants to be a ninja, but the classes can be overwhelming for him. He typically has fun by the end of class, but each one starts out with a nervous tummy, feelings of anxiety, and yes, tears. We employed a classic sticker chart, more as a way to track his “acts of bravery” than to reward him for going specifically, but he is proud of his ability to overcome his nerves.

Teach calming alternative responses. This has been far and away the most successful strategy employed. I taught him the same breathing technique I teach clients in my private practice, which is easy enough even for a 5-year-old child to use as needed. The Perfect Breath goes like this: Breathe in for a count of 3, hold briefly at the top, then breathe out for a count of 3. It’s perfect because when you hold at the top, that is the moment when you are no longer in need of more oxygen, and don’t yet need to exhale excess carbon dioxide. This technique has the effect of slowing down breathing in a manageable, easy to implement way. The trick is to practice is when you’re not anxious. That way your body associates that rhythm with being non-anxious and the response will be quicker when you need to use it in a situation.

Encourage dialogue about what’s happening internally. What are the physical sensations that go along with the emotion? Does it have a visual image such as a color, shape, or texture? Putting tangible words to the larger more amorphous concept of emotions helps us to not only feel that emotions can be managed, but also that they can be recognized. It’s easier to breathe away a red circle of nervousness or a tickly, tumbly tummy than to “deal with anxiety.”

Explore the difference between emotions in the moment and emotional memories. For me, a big realization was that even the idea or memory of an emotion (e.g., missing me during the day, or anticipating being nervous about martial arts) was enough to trigger a full-blown emotional meltdown for my son. Talking with him about what was a memory versus what was actually happening at that moment was key in helping him feel more in control of what he experienced.

Have a plan for expected or unavoidable situations. This year’s biggest hurdle was practicing fire drills. The emotional intensity of this experience combined with the very loud bell positioned just outside the kindergarten room door added up to a horribly negative spiral of tears and wailing. Knowing that this drill was to be repeated several times leading up to the fire marshal’s inspection meant we needed a way to tackle this, and fast. Our plan was simple: deal with the sensory overload as best we could and use as many calming alternative responses as necessary. We decided that as soon as the bell sounded, he would cover his ears, and take a few breaths. This was a way to keep his mind clear enough to use visual imagery to distract himself a bit. He chose to think of something happy (my face) or funny (his baby sister running away from her diaper after a bath). He understood that it was okay to cry if he needed to.

Overall, it has been several weeks of hard work as we’ve spent endless hours exploring, experiencing, and discussing his emotions and sensory issues. I am pleased to say, though, that he has made it through the last three fire drills very successfully (on two occasions, NO tears!). It has been most gratifying to watch his and my efforts pay off as he approaches new situations and I can see him breathing to calm himself, and to listen to the note of pride in his voice as he reports on his successes at school. Mostly, I am feeling good about the fact that he is armed with coping strategies that many adults aren’t skilled at using and can employ them at such a tender age. I’m hopeful that these strategies and his knowledge of himself will serve him well as he transitions through the rest of his school years, and into adulthood. And I hope those of you who parent similarly sensitive souls will find these tips useful.

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Image credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One fun by-product of parenting is reliving games of my childhood with Laurel (oddly enough, I’m also looking forward to a second pass at learning math and history when Laurel hits high school…). And often times it’s the simplest and least expensive games and activities that offer so much fodder for fun and creativity.
Yesterday Laurel and I picked up a set of Schylling pick-up sticks at Henry Bear’s Park. Easy on the wallet at $5.99, these wooden sticks come in a wooden box with a sliding lid; great for neat storage and travel. The kit doesn’t come with the rules (which I couldn’t remember, other than trying not to move other sticks when you pick up one) and though we looked them up later, it proved fun to simply wing it and see Laurel make up her own rules, such as trying to get all of one color first (hard) or have us alternate color pairs on our turns (doable but still challenging). Oh, and if you play by the original points system, the game serves as a math exercise.

And then of course there was the fun of not picking up the sticks and instead making name, star burst, and other geometric patterns with the sticks. We pretty much spent most of the afternoon and evening goofing around with these simple little sticks.

So simple, so inexpensive, inspiring so much creativity. I love it.

As the mom of a sock-resistant child in a “no shoes” house (a rule stemming from my Asian upbringing and immense distaste for increased need to vacuum), slippers are a must. And if you want cute slippers for kids and grownups, check out Kaya’s Kloset. Available for feet big and small (including organics), local mama Johanna Parker offers an amazing array of handcrafted baby shoes and kid/adult slippers featuring nonskid soles to prevent crash and burns and elasticized ankles so the slippers stay put. Though Laurel shuns socks, she loves her prettily patterned Kaya’s Kloset slippers; apparently part of their appeal is their lightweight-ness (“They’re so light it feels like I’m not wearing anything!”). Which means she keeps them on. Which makes me really happy.

Now, want to win a pair of Kaya’s Kloset shoes? Here’s how:

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THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED
Congrats to winner Felicia!
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Visit the Kaya’s Kloset store locator page, then email contests@bostonmamas.com (with ‘Kaya’s Kloset’ in the subject), and name a store where you can purchase Kaya’s Kloset shoes.

One entry permitted per person; residents around the globe welcome to enter.

Entry period closes at midnight EST, Wednesday, January 13, 2010.

*One lucky winner (drawn using Random.org) will receive their choice of baby shoe or child's slipper, subject to stock availability ($15-21 value, depending on style).

Without fail, every time we visit with our wonderful friends Anne and Michael, we pick up lovely hosting ideas. And this New Year’s Eve we learned about raclette, a dish/serving method that’s wonderfully communal and conversation inspiring. It’s also perfect for people like me who like to sample a little bit of everything at dinner, and it presents elegantly while being super simple to prepare.
European in origin, the modern way to serve raclette is via a tabletop grill, such as the Swissmar raclette grill that our friends own (their model is oval; the one shown here apparently is a newer version of the same). The set comes with eight little pans (and matching little spatulas) that fit under the griddle; the downward heat melts cheese and the topside serves to cook food directly. Simply melt cheese in the pan and pour it over nibbles on your plate, or assemble a little collection of nibbles in your pan and top with cheese to melt.

Anne and Michael made such a pretty presentation. The raclette grill sat in the middle of the table and on either side were plates of mixed cheese (raclette and gruyère) and platters and little dishes of food (boiled potatoes, chorizo, sausage, apple, ham, broccoli, mushrooms, cornichons, sauerkraut, and onions). The beauty of this serving method is that you can present any variety of items (because really, anything tastes great with cheese melted over the top) and guests can pick and choose what suits them in the moment. It’s a great way to use up random food in your fridge!

Though ours was a gathering of good friends, Anne and Michael said that raclette has proven great for gatherings where the guests don’t know one another as well. The communal eating creates a relaxed environment and serves as an instant point of conversation.

Normally I shy away from extra appliances, but this raclette grill totally is on my wish list.

Today, Kate recommends a thought provoking book about motherhood:

“The essayist Caitlin Flanagan has developed a successful career writing thoughtfully and often with acerbic humor on issues of family, marriage, motherhood, and feminism. She courts controversy by raising uncomfortable questions about whether men or women are better suited to housework, whether small children should be cared for by anyone other than their mothers, and whether contemporary women are fundamentally unsuited to accept the sacrifices required by marriage. She points at working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, and work-at-home mothers -- in other words, all of us -- and asks us to look into ourselves to understand our motivations, our compromises, and our choices and their impacts on our children. She is also the mother of twin boys, and a breast cancer survivor.
Her fascinatingly readable 2006 collection of essays To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife is the kind of book that you may love or you may hate but you won't be able to avoid thinking about. From her analysis of the Martha Stewart phenomenon to her description of her own postpartum depression and isolation -- a chapter that rang true for me -- Flanagan is honest about her own flaws as a mother and so allows her readers to be the same. The result is enlightening, engaging, guilt-inducing, and often laugh-out-loud funny. Whether you know her work from magazines like The New Yorker and The Atlantic or are coming to her fresh, Flanagan and To Hell with All That are worth getting to know.”

As I noted in yesterday’s year in review post, it has been a remarkable and humbling year for press and accolades. And 2010 started in a similarly humbling fashion when I hit the grocery store this weekend, picked up the January issue of Boston Magazine, and followed the front page teaser to see myself as the story lead in Elizabeth Elfman’s article on Boston mommy bloggers. Elfman did well capturing my story in the context of the amazing proliferation of local mommy blogs, and the potential relation to highly educated and savvy Hub women turning towards blogging following (late) motherhood. However, the concluding paragraphs drew my concern and I wanted to address that here.
Elfman segues from describing the Boston mommy blogging landscape as a highly opinionated one to the development of Blog with Integrity – a campaign that offers bloggers (all bloggers, not just mommy ones) a means to express commitment to a simple code of blogging conduct. As a stickler for ethics and standards, I was thrilled to learn about BWI before it went public; in fact, I was so on board with their mission that I designed the logo and website gratis. However, that (plus signing the pledge and posting the badge) is where my involvement with BWI ended.

That disclosure aside, here's my concern. Aside from the fact that Susan Getgood actually is the only local co-founder (the other three are based in New York City, Atlanta, and Denver), BWI is described as an initiative that has been met with a “tepid response” -- presumably a conclusion drawn from the accompanying statements that the campaign launched at BlogHer Chicago with 15,000 attendees, and that fewer than 2,000 BWI pledges have been signed.

However, the attendance at BlogHer was 1,500, not 15,000. And while not everyone who has signed the BWI pledge was at BlogHer, using the 1,500 number in parallel paints a very different picture. And if one takes into consideration BWI’s active engagement with the community via social media (responding to both positive and negative responses) and the various press they have drawn, and the fact that engaging the pledge requires voluntary blogger action (signing the pledge and/or taking the time to post a badge on your site), it’s pretty safe to say that the response -- both from the blogging community and the media -- has been anything but tepid.

You may be wondering why I care enough to post about this; I received incredible press, shouldn’t I just let it go? Yes, I’m truly grateful to be included in the article and I think that most of the article is really well executed. However, a critical error (re: BlogHer attendance and BWI pledge takers) led to a highly flawed conclusion. Second, once I got over my initial excitement about the article and expressed my concern about the BWI errors to Jon, he astutely pointed out that I have a way to address this issue that is easier and faster than submitting then waiting for a correction to be printed in a follow up issue of Boston Magazine. And third, as I mentioned, I'm a stickler for ethics and standards. I believe in Blog with Integrity and am grateful to be part of an amazing community replete with bloggers who are deeply committed to and passionate about ethical editorial standards.

In keeping with the understandably Boston-centric tone of the article, perhaps a more fitting conclusion would be that the response to BWI has been impressive, and that a lot of bloggers in Boston's blogging hub have opted to be part of that impressive initiative.

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Image credit: From the Boston Magazine article - illustration by David Brinley

I don’t typically post about contests on other sites, but I wanted to share this Simplify My Life campaign from Mom Bloggers Club because: a) it’s pretty sweet; b) anyone tuned in here over the holidays knows I'm all about simplifying; and c) I evaluated the product being given away so I know first hand how fantastic it is. In a nutshell, MBC & HP are giving away the super slick HP Studio Tord Boontje Mini 110 netbook. Actually, six of them. Simply blog about how the Mini 110 could simplify your life; the three most creative blog entries will win a Mini 110, plus three randomly drawn readers who comment in on these Simplify My Life posts will receive a Mini 110 (so, if you don't blog, read and comment in!). Be sure to check out the entry rules, and for details on usability and performance, read my evaluation.